PFO part 1

Thoughts on PFO so far….

I have cried so much this past week, mainly yesterday during the transitions seminar and during my interview with Becky, my small group leader. I feel like if I don’t process things, I’ll forget or really screw up my experience here.

Transitions

Understanding that there are many aspects to transition has helped me to adjust to leaving home. We were encouraged to say goodbye to people, places, possessions, and pets. Don’t have to think about the pets part, but the other aspects are definitely part of saying goodbye. One thing that came out was how I need to say goodbye to family and friends and affirm them as though I’m not going to see them again. Honestly, I could never see them again, and what would I do if I didn’t treat my last few weeks as precious and share how I feel with them?

The whole process of adjusting to Korea seems more and more a BIGGER topic than I realized. This is not a 2 week mission trip or a tourist experience. This is adjusting to the culture and impacting it. I feel that my eyes have been rammed open by the truth of cross-cultural living from hearing the stories of transition from Libby, our gifted speaker who is highly experienced in overseas travel, living, and transitions. Rex had mentioned that the process could take up to 3 months to adjust to a culture-3 months seems very overwhelming, but it is a whole moving to a new everything! 

I’ve confessed to my small group and my future coworkers that I want to be at that point where I have done everything once so I’ll have that prior knowledge for what’s next. But then, as I learned today, it takes a YEAR of overseas living to know what to predict. Then, during the 2^nd year, you have an “idea” of what is coming and can predict things. The 3^rd year, you realize NOTHING is predictable and you’re anticipating your own flexibility.

New Challenges

I’ve had a chance to talk to Shamala, Lauren, and Kristen some. Shamala is the elementary principal. Lauren teaches 5^th grade and will share an apartment with me. Kristen teaches middle school science, PE, and coaches basketball and volleyball.  Talking to them and listening to the planned events for this next year and how things rolled last year makes going seem tangible. It feels more do-able and familiar by talking about the school year. Before it seemed like I’d get on the plane and there not be clarity or vision of the future. It was like my life as I now know it would end. And, I’ve come to find out that it will end. It has ended in a significant way already. But listening to them talk about the school year made things seem very familiar and regular. Yes, I’ll be in Korea teaching 3^rd grade, but this seems like home because I can know some of what I’ll be getting into.

 

PFO has been more than I anticipated and I’m glad they require this of us before we go overseas. I know that I know such a small part of what overseas life is like. I’ll have to experience it to really know what it is.  Experience is a great teacher.

No matter where I go or what I do, I must remember that God sees me. He is the EL ROI, the God who sees me, as Hagar prayed.  A Casting Crowns song challenged me once with the line “…to step out of my comfort zone, to the realm of the unknown, where Jesus is…” I can easily listen to the voices around me that want to discourage me and frighten me. I must know He is with me, through the scary, emotional, frustrating transitions and adjustments and through the comfortable, familiar, and wonderful aspects of home.

Lucky?

I am so blessed. Unbelievably blessed.

I know I say those words often and don't stop to take account of how true that is-all the time. I am blessed no matter what is going on around me. I've been given so much and don't stop to thank my dear Lord for what he's showered upon me. I do not deserve the least of His mercies, and yet, He is kind and gracious to give me so much more than I could ask or think.

I'm blessed. He is too good to me.

James 1:17 says, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no shadow or variation of turning."

Any and every thing I've been given is from God. It's always something He's given. I don't attribute enough to Him or I'll forget His mercies. There cannot be a moment of forgetting what God has done for me.

I read over Psalm 78 this evening and was struck by the repetition of the people of Israel forgetting what God did for them. It mentions how He punishes them or deals with them in His way, but it highlights His kindness and patience with His people.  There are so many times I'm on auto-pilot, just going through the motions, forgetting the goodness of my God. Considering Psalm 78, I pray I never go through what they do when they forgot God's kindness. One verse mentioned that while the food was in their mouths (food they'd desperately needed and begged God for) they rebelled or complained and God struck them down. How quick they were to gripe! And they saw the mighty acts of God in Egypt and with the exodus and wilderness!

As I take this step of faith and move to South Korea,  I realize again and again that my mind and heart can only be on Christ and what He has done for me. He is worthy of so much of my time and attention, and yet I am forgetful to thank Him for what I have. He's given every good and perfect gift. Why are my eyes not on all these gifts? Oh Lord, give me eyes to see how richly you've blessed me at all times in my life!

Wednesday nights are a time I've come to treasure in my week. My home church has started meeting on Wednesday nights at Pitza 42 to visit and fellowship. This group of people have become to near and dear to me. I find it hard to think about being away from them for any length of time. I'm blessed to have brothers and sisters in Christ who encourage and challenge me. They have been like family in so many ways. The community we have has been rich and such a joy to experience in the body of Christ.

"What if we woke up tomorrow with only the things we thanked God for yesterday?"~Anonymous

Paul mentioned at least four times how he gave thanks to God for certain people. I never want to forget the blessings God has put in my life. Everything and everyone who crosses my path is a blessing-either in their coming into my life, or in their exiting my life. Proper perspective helps when deciding this. The main thing is to thank God for the blessings He gives me.

Lord, I need you, Oh, I need you!
Every hour I need you!

Citizens is a band I've recently discovered thanks to my brother, Andrew. Their music is God-honoring, Christ-exalting, and beautiful.