Homesick? Now? after all this time?

It hit me this week that, oh yeah....it's April now!

Wow! Where has the time gone?!?!

My mom's birthday is April 1. Birthdays in our family are definitely a time for everyone to get together, celebrate the birthday person, eat some yummy food, and share laughs and a good evening together. So, of course, that happened this week. My sister was good to share a picture of them all out celebrating my mom. I had called home a couple of times that day to chat with Mom and wish her a great day.
During the course of my morning on April 2 (which is still April 1 central time) I got a voicemail from my mom that was ten minutes long. When I read my phone saying the length of the message, I had mixed feelings, I hoped for no bad news via voicemail. I ended up listening to the message and realized it was a pocket dial during the birthday dinner.
I was telling a coworker about the lengthy message when it hit me that I wasn't there for the dinner. I wasn't there to know what they were all laughing about and reveling in. I wasn't there. I had that "George Bailey" experience where I felt for a few seconds what it would be like if I'd not been born. Of course, I quickly realized my emotions were getting the best of me and I was freaking out about a significant event that I was not home for. Still, I felt lost, homesick, nomadic, and alone. I knew they were my family, but the distance of it all slammed into me and wrecked me for a long while.
That was such a tough day. I wanted to go home right then and there and not look back. But, I knew in a few hours I would be at a different place with my emotions. I'm glad, so glad, I was kept from making any snap decisions in those hours.
In talking to some people who are much wiser and more adept at handling the distance due to years away from home for birthdays, holidays, and life events, I am grasping onto the encouragement that this experience will get better. I will be able to deal with it more efficiently, but the ache will be there still. This is going to be a part of my life for a while; it's not going to stop being a heartache but through the grace of God there will be a way to deal with it better.

Next month is Mothers Day, which is the day after my dad's birthday which also happens to be my baby brother's high school graduation day. Dear Lord, help me!